The. Last. Day.

Woke up way too early for PT it was too painful to explain.  THANK GOD we were at Bo-Bagel no later than the minute it opened to order a million egg sandwiches.  Obviously we had to eat every meal of the day at Bo-Bagel because who knows whether they still even exist in America..we’ve been away for too long to leave anything that important up to chance.  After the last breakfast we devoted no more than 30 minutes cleaning out our dorm rooms that by now were about as sanitary as floor of the lodges after the highlighter party…yeahhhh…then we went to the dancing house – which was more or less a 20 minute photo op and nothing more.  Luckily we all had a mere 1 outfit left that was considered ‘clean’…bear in mind that wearing anything inside out or stolen is completely acceptable at this point.  We ventured back to the John Lenon wall to do some business (which is completely legal)(I think).  Even though that wall gets more action than Tiger on a golf tour it’d be pretty cool if the ‘Richmond Lax’ we threw up there lasted for over the estimated time period of 48 hours…thankfully there’s a 98% chance Weston will miss his flight & stay in Prague forever so he can keep us posted.  We left the wall and in a matter of 5 minutes proceeded to cross 2 more things off our to-do list 1) absinthe ice cream 2) beer bike. Absinthe ice cream was gross & made my tongue burn & we more or less used the beer bike for the sole purpose of not having to walk to the next tram stop – whatever ill take it.  After getting lost for the last time (please dear lord) Anne, Maggie and I made the single best decision in Praha and went paddle boating.  Obviously an innocent venture to get a little exercise while enjoying the beautiful lake/river/canal turned in to a last day – shit show – boat extravaganza.  We started with a simple bottle of champagne to celebrate the fact that we were all still more or less alive & managed to dominate Europe in a mere 6 weeks.  Somehow 1 bottle turned in to 18 and before I knew it we were in the canal.  Our paddle-boat came custom with a slide so it was obvious what repercussions we would be dealing with when this adventure was all said and done.  The first thing we had to do was bid a final adeu to the notoriously heinous global peasants white polo.  We’ve had a lot of downs & downs with this polo so we were thoughtful enough to give it a proper send off.  After plotting out 7 legendary send-offs that would do our polo’s justice we were ready to delve into the 1^st goodbye.  It brought a tear of Pilsner to our eyes watching Maggie’s polo drift into the (lack of) current and float on down the abyss of the river.  We don’t know what it’s fate was after going down the waterfall but we didn’t have the time or devotion to stick around and find out.  After exceeding our boat-tour by a whopping 2 ½ hrs we decide it’s finally time to take the plunge down the slide & get in the water – d.i.f.t.s. situation.  I went first, followed by Mags and then it was Anne’s turn.  By this time I was back on the boat and ready to take a video of Anne to repay her for all the glamour shots she’s taken of me for the past month.  A mere 4 seconds after Anne went down the slide I literally topple over the side of the boat, camera & dry dress in hand and face plant back in to the river.  The good news is there were about 40 random citizens on the bridge above us who witnessed this glorious event.  Finally we got our lives together, managed to dock way, way past our due arrival time & headed to Bo-Bagel for dinner (shocker).  We met the rest of everyone at dinner then continued on with sending off our polos. Based on my clouded judgment I decided to climb the humongous statue in the middle of old town square and put my polo on one of the saints.  Needless to say I was on and off that statue in under 2 minutes & blended back in to the crowd so that the police that arrived 1 minute later were unable to find me.  Based on our hurried need to flee the scene we ended up in front of the astronomical clock tower.  As it was nearing 9pm the clock was about to strike and a whole ordeal where bells ring and someone trumpets etc. so point of the details being there is a massive crowd outside the clock tower and if ur willing to pay u can get to the top for the trumpet playing – jackpot.  Cloudy (but proving to be awesome) instincts kick in once again and I literally high-tail it up the 2349387520934875032984 steps to get to the top of the tower before the bell strikes.  I lost my rainbows along the way and had at least 3 asthma attacks along the way but barely made it up in 2 minutes– just enough time to run to the edge and chuck Laura’s polo off for a 30 foot drop into the massive crowd.  From the top I could hear the crowd’s cries for ‘free t-shirts’ but spied the castle guard running to snag it for himself before anyone else could get their hands on it.  Tara put here Polo on one of the manikins outside of a souvenir shop which was amazing…we finished off the night with a final scoop of ice cream, stuffing the last of our disintegrating wardrobe in to our 2 ton bags & watching the season finale of the bachelorette on Tara’s laptop.  We then acknowledged that if all goes according to plan we will never have to see each other again, Thank God.  No jk, lawls all around, as easy as it is to make fun of all these retards (super sloppy seven) Praha/the entire trip wouldn’t have been nearly as fun if it was with anyone else…minus Tara plus Ke$sha.